Donnerstag, Juli 26, 2007

Il Pollaio is back!

I just began to fear they stayed down.
But this great site is now up again under it's new Name: Dolcettish.com

I'm happy now!

Dienstag, Juli 24, 2007

Shall we pull away the stool?






















Photomanip made with one of Yokomodele's Photos (Many Thanks!)

Montag, Juli 16, 2007

What I've told no one so far...

All happened near Villefranche de Conflet. It was late summer and really hot. I was twenty-one back then. And I was travelling alone.
And so I was wandering up the Pyrenées feet through all this sort of mediterranian vegetation, dried out, perfume of oily leaves in my nose.
I saw or heard absolutely nobody around and therefore considered myself to be totally alone up there.
I came to a tree.
It was small and crooked. Gnarled like a dried up wiper!
I sat down beneath it, covering in its shadow, contemplating.
Fixed to one main branch stretched out horicontally above my head.
And i made a decision.
First I got undressed.
I looked for a bold stone, but one i could still move. I dragged it under the tree.
I sat down again, eagerly starting to fabricate a nice slender noose out of belt an shoe-laces.
I took my time, as if i would need no more of it, i was totally in the present, i merged to the one act i was preparing for.
I stepped on the stone.
A rather unstable position!
I slung the belt around my bare neck, pulled it tight.
I went on my toes, balancing, fixing the loose end on the branch.
Strung myself up good!
I only had to step off of the stone to dangle helplessly.
I needed one hand to keep up, to not lower myself into the noose.
Somehow i had become ready. I felt the need for me ending from the noose. I felt the final purity of things to happen. A sensation of righteousness!
Then I began to wank myself off with the help of the hand left free.

I could have ended things back then, as i should have. I could have died in purity!
But I didnt.
After having ejaculated, i calmed down again, tied myself loose.
I untied the ligature. Put my cloths back on, sat there, contemplating.
Only some ten, perhaps fifteen minutes later, a group of hikers passed by my place. We greeted each other, the shiver gurgling down my spine. They could have been the ones to find me lifelessly swinging from the branch, or even witness the last shivering of my strangled to death body.
But this is not the point!
The point is, that this has been one of this strange moments in my past, when i chose life. Even if it was more by accident.
That's why I'm now still sitting in front of the screen typing.
It would have been no mistake to hang myself.
It would have been right!
Neither is it wrong for me to still live.
It's just different!
I think this was the last time, i succeeded in convincing myself to really hang to death. I believed me. That it would be possible to go straight down the path, right into the end.
Living on is sheer compromise. I lost my purity.
I have grown older now. Being no more than only one of these millions of anonymous deviants stalking online, seeking the kick, seeking the game, the illusion!







Just fed up westerners problems....

Montag, Juli 09, 2007

Why I am put on by the sight of female feet in ballerina mary janes...

As it just happened: I see a girl wearing yellow Lacoste Antibes.
I state the growing sexual arousal, the need for me licking the soft leather covering her restless toes.
That's when i realize i must not do this under any circumstance, she would never tolerate that.
And that i should better be punished mercilessly for my wanting to.
I know the sling being the only answer. Nevertheless I hesitate.
Sedating myself with the drug and scribblings like the present one.

But why is it only mary janes are pushing my desires? Why not any other type of shoe, why them?
A mere rhetorical question....
Because i know it already, i can feel it , since i can read it from their shape, from its impact on my flesh! So first of all: this style combines athletic attitude with superior female elegance. One might say that beeing the one essence of ballerina type shoes/slippers.

Mary Janes now are thought to originally be girls shoes. How to explain that? Anyway they convey some sort of decent elegance, contrasting with the oppulence of some lets say highheel pumps. It's the nearly incidental expression of femininity, It's not focused on it, it's casual (behold that word!).
As if it never came to minds of women wearing them, that a deviant one like me could be aroused by viewing them.
And of course they're well aware of that only pretending not to be. And now that's the essence of modern mary janes's shape.

But lets delve somewhat deeper into the meaning of mary janes slippers. In ballerina style ones, the only thing that distinguishes them from plain ballerinas is that one strap running from one side to the other, and by that crossing the alignment of protuberant female sinews. It's like to appease the energy flowing along female feet. The more, in most cases the strap is flexible - technically to ease putting on, but in reality - to abut on female's feet forms, to conform to their aspiration, snuggling to their orientation, while symbolically (and only symbolically) trying to hold it down; as a mere allusion.

It's because the shape of the ballerina mary jane underlines female self-determination, which by the way prohibits my inferior wanting.
Even by humbly licking her ballerina covered feet clean, i shall never attain her liking nor only her attentiveness.

Voilà the inner logic of my shoe-fetishism!
Now is
that an answer???